The Pebble

I love the smell of coffee and 265 possibilities in the morning.  Welcoming the new year just might be my favorite holiday.

Cradling my coffee mug between my manicured fingers, steam rises to my nostrils and I breath in audibly.  “Staring at the blank page before you, open up the dirty window…let the sun ultimate the words that you cannot find,” she sings to me as the warm liquid arouses my senses.  I regard Kaiser’s paw prints on the slider, “check”, and search for the rays of sun in the gray sky.  If you cannot find the light, be the light.

This beautiful, magnificent blank page glows before me.  My fingers lower to the cold keys waiting to be nourished.  Silence, stillness transmutes my senses; my breathing slows and I sense my heart warming in my chest to words that have yet to come.  The words will flow from here, I do not even know how.  I am unlocked and unleashed; unbridled emotions, sentiments and words is my weakness.  I vow to be at their mercy in 2019.  Writing; an unfolding, an unveiling of your innermost self.  I am grateful for what I discover most often: love, compassion and gratitude.

Goals, yes, they are on my mind. I aim to keep them simple, yet amazing in 2019.  Simple because of their authenticity.  Amazing because of the path that is continually unfolding through them, the words on a blank page.

Presence, the gift of, to others and to myself.  The blank page before me, yet in another.  Allowing, accepting and yielding space to simply be for those in my life.  I believe this to be one of the greatest gifts you can offer because it is rooted in love.  One moment of presence could change the trajectory of a life.  Multiply that by 365 days and countless encounters, the possibilities are infinite.  For myself, to be present is to be rooted in the moment, however fleeting.  Life unfolds authentically with presence and with that, your goals and visions become vivid and infused with passion and purpose.  It has been hash-tagged as “living your best life.”  I promise you, pinky promise even, it all evolves from presence.  Anything else is just a catchy hashtag.

Writing, my gift, for myself and more and more I am appreciating for others.  It has taken me decades to recognize this.  I may seem dramatic and my vulnerability is revealed by allowing “judgements” to creep into my tapping fingers.  That boulder I carried of insecurities on my shoulders has now become, thankfully, a pebble I toss in my hands.  I can manage the pebble even as I type.  That boulder though, bounded my arms and inhabited my freedom and creativity for far too long.  In 2019, I vow to finally, perhaps even ceremoniously, toss that pebble.  Imagine, that freedom!  Creating without juggling that ridiculous nuisance.

It is here that my goals align, on this keyboard at 10:30am on the first day of the new year, 2019.  In these moments, as I write, my presence is inescapable.  I am here in this moment giving myself the space to simply be with all my unearthed emotions, insecurities and vulnerabilities (my pebble).  I am giving you my unmasked presence in hopes that you, too, will have the strength and courage to do the same in your own unique way.  Let’s do this together; toss your boulders or pebbles or whatever it might be and #live your best life in 2019.  How can that not be simply amazing? 

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